


Before I Fall

by OverlyCheerfulRat



Category: Naruto
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe, Bed-Wetting, Boarding School, Bullying, Diapers, Enuresis, Gen, Ghosts, Groundhog Day Loop, Haunting, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Incontinence, Omorashi, Revenge, Suicide, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 06:38:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14349987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyCheerfulRat/pseuds/OverlyCheerfulRat
Summary: Deidara, the son of a wealthy CEO and respected politician, mercilessly bullied his roommate, Kabuto, at West Hills Academy for years. After a sudden (but not entirely unexpected) tragedy, Deidara is forced to relive the same day over and over until he can change the outcome.





	1. Prologue

West Hills Academy wasn’t the most difficult boarding school in London, but it wasn’t the easiest either. Deidara Iwa was technically passing all his classes, but C’s weren’t good enough for his parents, a CEO and a respected politician. During his first year at the school, he had spent every night studying while his roommate Kabuto Yakushi, a nearsighted scholarship student, passed all his classes with no apparent effort. By the fourth week of school, Deidara had become incredibly envious of the taller boy, and finally confronted him early one morning.

“Hey. Four-eyes.” Kabuto binked awake and squinted up at Deidara, slowly sitting upright. “Y-yes?” “I know you piss yourself,” Deidara stated bluntly. Kabuto froze and looked at the blond, his pale face turning red. “How d-” “The nurse told me, dumbass. She said you were assigned as my roommate and she ‘legally had to inform me’.” This was a complete lie-Deidara had been looking for something to hold over Kabuto’s head, so he asked the secretary if he could see his roommate’s records. A regular student would never have been allowed to do it, but he might have promised her a job at his mother’s company if she did. When he flipped through the medical section and saw “mixed enuresis”, he looked it up and then laughed out loud. This couldn’t have been more perfect.

They ended up making a deal-Kabuto would do Deidara’s homework if the little blond kept his secret. And Deidara did keep up his end of the deal, but it didn’t end up mattering in the long run; Kabuto wet his pants at a Halloween party, and someone took a video of him trying to leave while everyone laughed harshly. Deidara “accidentally” told his friends about the other boy’s medical records, and by Monday everyone knew. From then on, Deidara took out his anger with his parents on Kabuto, who was repeatedly denied a room change. Stress from the near constant bullying caused him to have accidents much more frequently, which of course only made it worse. Several years passed, and as the bullying got worse, so did Kabuto’s mental health.

In the sixth year at West Hills, Deidara walked into his room at the end of the day to find that Kabuto had hung himself. He screamed and stumbled backwards, then turned and ran out of the room. The petite blond was so desperate to get away from those blank eyes that he didn’t even notice where he was going. He tripped and fell at the top of the staircase, his small body breaking as he tumbled down the long wooden stairs. And when he finally reached the bottom, his forehead smacked against the hard wood with a sickening thud. Deidara’s eyelids fluttered once before sliding closed for the last time.


	2. Hanging

Kabuto walked with his head down at all times, avoiding eye contact with the other students. He walked through the halls quickly, timid and nervous, just trying to get to class on time. When he got there, he would sit in the back and try to shrink into himself until he was invisible, never raising his hand and praying the teacher didn’t call on him. In his first year, he had sat at the front of the room and always been the first to raise his hand, but after the Halloween party everything had gone wrong. Every time he stepped into science class, he remembered that day during second year, when everyone had been told to pick a medical condition to research. That was after Deidara had told everyone his secret, and after Kabuto gave his report on spina bifida, Hidan stood up to deliver his speech.

He stared at Kabuto the whole time, and everyone knew exactly who he was talking about. “Enuresis is a repeated inability to control urination,” he began with a smirk. That combined with the way he looked at Kabuto was enough to elicit a few snickers from the class. Kabuto looked at his desk, but could still feel eyes piercing him. “Use of the term is usually limited to describing people old enough to be able to be expected to exercise that control,” Hidan continued, repressing a laugh. Kabuto lifted his gaze to the teacher, silently begging her to say something, but she remained quiet. A very small smirk graced her lips. Why should she step in to help some scholarship kid when she was enjoying his misery as much as everyone else?

As the report continued, sounding very similar to a Wikipedia article (it wouldn’t be Hidan’s first time blatantly copying from that source), everyone continued to laugh at Kabuto. It didn’t help that Hidan constantly emphasized the word child while staring meaningfully at Kabuto. “Only about three percent of fifteen to seventeen-year-olds are affected. Diurnal enuresis is much less common than nocturnal, and about sixty percent of people with enuresis are male.” He broke off, snickering. “My personal research indicates a link between vision problems and enuresis,” he stated with a laugh. When he had finally finished, he walked past Kabuto’s desk on the way back to his seat and loudly asked, “Oh, don’t you have that, Kabuto? Isn’t it called mixed enuresis when you wet yourself during the day and when you’re asleep?” 

That had been neither the first nor last time someone had made Kabuto cry in class, and delighted shrieks of “look, the baby’s crying!” were burned into his memory right along with “is he pissing himself?!” Some of the kinder teachers would let him leave, but most of them just hid their laughter and watched him try to hide his tears right along with the other students. Once or twice, Kabuto had quietly asked to be excused, but the teachers would walk to his desk and demand to know where he wanted to go. “I can’t just let you leave my class,” they would say mockingly. And when Kabuto whispered that he needed a bathroom, they would tell him to speak up, before denying his request anyway. “You can hold it like everyone else,” they would say, even though they knew he couldn’t. 

A few weeks before he gave up, Kabuto went to the school counselor as a last resort. He had never tried talking to him before, assuming he would be just like the other teachers-either completely oblivious or openly cruel-but he felt like he was drowning, and he thought maybe the counselor could throw him a life ring. Iruka Umino wasn’t in his office when Kabuto came to see him, and when he finally showed up he looked surprised to actually see a student there. It was clear that he was unused to kids approaching him of their own free will, but he sat down across from Kabuto nonetheless and asked what was bothering him. “Um… th-there are a lot of other students who… they bully me,” Kabuto whispered, head down. “Oh? And do you have any idea why that might be?” “Um, y-yes sir. I have mixed enuresis… I have trouble controlling my bladder,” he clarified at the confused look on Iruka’s face. 

The rest of the conversation was stunted and awkward. Iruka clearly didn’t know how to handle the situation, so he just gave stock bullying advice. “Ignore it and it’ll go away.” “Don’t let them get to you.” “Have you tried walking away from the problem?” “They’ll stop eventually.” When Kabuto left, he felt even worse than before. So no one was going to help him, huh? As he walked out the door, the sleeve of his uniform rode up and revealed fresh cuts on his wrist. “Mister Yakushi, what’s that on your arm?” Kabuto turned back to Iruka and pulled his sleeve all the way up to show numerous scars and open wounds, chewing his lip nervously. People had seen before-a few teachers, who mostly told him to stop with the “attention-seeking behaviors”, and Deidara, who just laughed and called him emo. 

Iruka sighed heavily. “Have you… have you gone to the nurse? Those could get infected.” Kabuto shook his head. “Well, I want you to go down there right now… I’ll write you a pass… and don’t hurt yourself over trivial things, okay? Promise you’ll do that for me?” Without another word, Kabuto took the pass and walked out, throwing it into a trash bin on his way down the hall. It wasn’t much longer until he found himself sitting on his bed, trying to be still so he wouldn’t hear the plastic mattress cover crinkling, and looking at the sheet lying on the floor. He’d taken it from the laundry room, and was now looking at the exposed rafters in the ceiling. What was stopping him from going through with this? Who would miss him? His adoptive mother had died over the summer, and he had no other family. He certainly had no friends.

Making a noose was easier than he’d expected. It was tight around his neck, probably too tight, not that it mattered. Kabuto took a deep breath, fidgeted with the glasses his mother had given him years ago, and kicked over the chair he was standing on. Immediately, he began to struggle-this hurt more than he’d expected, but he still wanted to die. It took several seconds, but he eventually forced himself to stop fighting it. This was your choice, he reminded himself. Before long, the world grew fuzzy around the edges. Everything was…. softer... it was quiet…. where...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of Hidan's report is factual except the link between vision problems and enuresis-he's just mocking Kabuto.


	3. Falling

The day Kabuto hung himself was just like any other for Deidara. The only unusual thing was that his alarm didn’t go off, and he woke up halfway through first period. He mumbled incoherently as he climbed out of bed, and noticed that Kabuto was also asleep, curled up under the covers as if he were trying to hide. Smirking, Deidara unceremoniously tore the sheets away, waking his roommate up immediately. “Still asleep? Did you piss your diaper last night?” Normally, Kabuto would sit up and push him away, trying to hide the wet pull-up between his legs, but he didn’t move at all that morning. He looked up and stared at Deidara, black eyes scanning his face as if he meant to memorize it. “What the hell are you doing, freak?” 

Kabuto didn’t answer at first, but after a moment, he opened his mouth and hesitantly licked his lips, trying to work up the nerve to say something. “I hate you,” he whispered, voice cracking. Deidara shrugged boredly. “Okay? Good for you, then. See you later,” he called sarcastically as he grabbed his uniform and sauntered out of the room. Kabuto watched him leave, silent and still. “I don’t think you will,” he said emotionlessly, sitting up and looking at the ceiling. The rafters were exposed and easy to reach… that was good, he supposed. It would be easier than using a belt and a doorknob, at least. 

Meanwhile, Deidara went through the day as usual. He didn’t see Kabuto all day, but he figured he was just sick or something. He had been acting kind of weird and out of it that morning, after all. So that evening, when he walked into his room, he wasn’t expecting anything out of the ordinary. Deidara closed the door behind him, looked up, and saw his roommate’s corpse hanging lifelessly from the rafters. “Eh?” It took a minute for the shock to wear off, but when it did he screamed at the top of his lungs and sprinted out of the room, desperately trying to force that image out of his head. He didn’t notice the stairs until he was falling.

**Author's Note:**

> Enuresis is just another word for mild urinary incontinence. Nocturnal enuresis means bedwetting, diurnal is wetting during the day, mixed is both. The title is both a pun and a reference to the book this story is loosely based on.


End file.
